Who doesn’t love the time-honored tradition of having their child pictured on Santa’s lap? Nothing is much more cute than to see little Timmy or Sally smiling brightly on Santa’s lap while sharing their most heart-felt wishes and desires for Christmas morning. Of course, this is the stuff of Hollywood. Much more frequently than not, this unique event is tainted by the horrifying screams of children forced to sit on a strange man’s lap while having it documented forever. Documented for your viewing pleasure, I need to add.

There are numerous lists showing significant numbers kids-scared-of-Santa photographs but I have decided to break it down into scientific categories. After looking by way of hundreds upon hundreds of frightened youngsters crying on Santa’s lap I noticed some patterns. My time is your reward as I show you the top 10 Ways  to be Scared of Santa. See how really scary Santa can be on this related list.

Bloody Murder Scream

The purest showing of terror: The Bloody Murder Scream. These children held nothing back and let their primal terror be heard. Will the screaming ever end? Not if Jolly Saint Nick has anything to say about it.

The Screaming Choir

Anytime you subject more than 1 child to a scarring event such as sitting on Santa’s lap, why not add an additional child to the fun. Multiple children mean multiple screaming. The unholy cacophony reaches the North Pole.

No Escape

Some Moms are sadistic enough in their blind desire to see their child sit with Saint Nick that they forcibly hold their screaming child in near the red stranger. Hello, Mommy Dearest.

Slip Sliding Away

As all parents know, the young child’s very best escape plans involve the slip-through or the arm raise. This simple maneuver enables the child to slide effortlessly from any grip Santa might have. Let gravity and a limp body do the work.

The Scream and Reach

When screaming and pleading has failed, the next step entails reaching out for aid, and so we have the scream and reach. Regrettably the person who you are reaching for is the 1 that put you there. You are grasping for straws…and therapy years later.

What’s Your Dilemma?

Occasionally 1 child is brave sufficient to smile or they could truly be enjoying this Christmas tradition so much they are either oblivious or don’t care that their sibling is having a mini-coronary. 1 child screams and the other wonders what all the ruckus is about. And by the way, the looks on these Santa faces are the finest of the bunch.

Scream and Stare

Sometime you scream into the void but occasionally you cannot look away from the horror. Looking at the man in the red hat whilst crying for the moment to be over may be the longest 2 minutes of your young life. When its over you know you have looked evil in the eye and have been changed forever.

WTF or I Will Not Cry, As God is my Witness…

These kids have refused to give into the fear, but they still are wrapped in an uneasiness that can’t be denied. So while the terror that wells within them is trapped, it still lays in their stomachs like cold dead rotting carcass.

I Gotta Get Outta Here

Some brave children know that the only way to steer clear of the red Satan, I mean Santa, is to run. And run they do, escaping with their lives and, if they are lucky, their sanity. Of course, great ol’ Mom or Dad will soon be dragging their limp bodies back for a lot more.

This Ain’t Worth Minimum Wage

Here is a shout out to all the Santa Clauses who have given up after hours upon hours of crying, screaming, wetting, begging, fighting and loud children. The looks on these dejected, worn out and exhausted Santa faces say it all.

And finally, my favorite picture. A face only a mother could love.

Here is a movie with even far more fantastic photos of children crying at Santa.